THE TRIAL

CHAPTER 1

          The lights dimmed and all I could see were figures. Nothing really made sense to me. All the figures blurred and I began to sweat profusely.

Hey…. I heard. I woke up and realized I had dozed off in the office. This was the third time this week that these figures had appeared to me. I didn’t understand them. My faith wasn’t strong enough to make out what they were. I was a Christian but not one quite strong enough to interpret this dream. I recalled these figures been “0804014”. Was it a date? Was it a room number? All these questions flustered through my mind. I couldn’t make it out.

I hurriedly resumed work and called it a day. All my colleagues were very witty today and so I wasn’t particularly talking to any of them. I retired for home by 8:30pm. As I approached my car, I saw them again, those figures, numbers. Oh God! I exclaimed, why you don’t just reveal this to me here and now! Why make me wait any longer? I drove home with all these questions in my head.

“Welcome home darling” that was my wife’s welcome hug and address. I smiled faintly and headed for my room. From her expression, I could tell she sensed something was wrong. She didn’t dare ask knowing what my reply would be. She knew me more than I knew myself. She was my perfect match. My whole. She was my wife. I changed, had my bath and went downstairs for dinner.

My wife and I had been looking for a child for the past six years. We had gone for all the medical examinations we could find still to no avail. My wife been who she was, still had an unshakeable faith. All the faith I did not have. She was the one who held our family together when I nearly gave up. She also said, with assurance that her God would make all things well in his own time.  She would quote bible passages and even fast and pray. She would assure me that with God all things were possible. If I hadn’t married her, I wondered at times what would have become of me. I had hidden fears that one day she will get tired and leave me. The mere thought of that brought shudders to me. I was worthless, that’s what I always said to myself. I was God’s mistake. I would say all these negative words to myself in the dead of the night. I was the cause of our childlessness. It was I who had a low sperm count. The one who couldn’t get his wife pregnant. While my wife was healthy and whole. Not for once did I hear my wife complain or lament about our problems. I was the one always whining like a little girl to myself. My wife would read to me various passages from the GOOD BOOK. Among all I remember very well Philippians 4:13 and Hebrews 11:1. Those were her favourite passages and daily recitations. She never let anyone tell her what was not in her bible. She was true to herself and God. No one knew when she was hurting or sober. All people could see was an ever smiling, no worries woman. Words couldn’t describe my wife, my life I fondly called her. She was the part of me that never existed. She was an angel, a god in human form. She wasn’t the most beautiful woman in the world (not that I knew many) nor did she have the best figure, but unlike many women, she was God’s perfect creation. God’s image indeed. Unlike me, she represented God in human form.

          All the pain I put her through, locking her out of my life. I never told her my pains or worries though she could see them. I never told her my fears, though she felt them. I only knew and hoped she was aware of my undying love for her. The love that I thought never existed. She was my world.

          After eating, I thanked her for dinner and went to the bedroom to get some sleep. As I closed my eyes, those numbers again, except this time accompanied by blood dripping from them. I was startled and opened my eyes. I glanced towards the small clock on the bedside table noticing I had barely slept for just two minutes that felt like unending two hours. I heard my wife’s footsteps and pretended to be asleep. I heard her pray, she always spoke in tongues. I suddenly heard her whimpering, clapping and then nothing. I opened my eyes and saw her lying beside me. How didn’t I hear stand up or lie down? I asked myself. I turned slightly and kissed her on her forehead and let myself sleep, only to be haunted by those numbers and blood accompanied with it.

          I felt the sun against my skin. I knew within me it had to be morning but as I opened my eyes, lo and behold there lay a baby right before my eyes. I looked at the baby critically and as I reached out to touch the baby, the baby was been pulled backward, farther away from me. I moved forward, trying to get to the baby but as soon I drew nearer, the baby moved further away. Now the baby was beyond reach, and just before the baby disappeared, I saw this passage right above the baby’s head. The same passage my wife recited over and over again.

                   “Hebrews 11:1- Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the       

                    Evidence of things not seen”

And the baby was gone. The passage gone. It then came to my knowledge that it was actually morning. I brushed my teeth and had my bath, then went downstairs. I saw my beautiful wife preparing breakfast on reaching the sitting room. Mary I greeted beaming with smiles. Her name was Mary. I once equated her to Mary the mother of Jesus for she was more like her in many ways than one. The pure and virtuous woman .Too good for a loser like me. What had she seen in me, I wondered if she regretted marrying me. If she saw me the way I saw myself. Nothing, a nobody exactly how I saw myself.

          “Good morning honey” she greeted back turning towards me. She was indeed the most beautiful I ever saw. I took in her deep blue robe draped around her very curvy features that hid beneath that robe. Her hair was still a bit rough and her face was still looking tired signifying she had just woken up. She set the table, said the grace before we ate. She prepared pancakes for breakfast with a very cool orange juice. When we were done eating, we gave thanks again and she left to do the dishes, while I watched her and wished things were a bit different (with me obviously, she was faultless). While still looking, thing began to blur. I was drifting again, I thought I would fall and held our dinning chair for support. And there it was again, those figures. I thought I was going mad already. I shook my head, and my eyes began to clear. This time, my wife was helping knot my tie. Maybe she had asked a few unanswered questions, I didn’t know. I had drifted from the present world to a world of numbers and figures. It was really becoming more than a dream, but a nightmare.

I needed help, more help than I admitted to. I was going insane, mad I must say!

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